So I’ve learned over some years, to listen for God’s promises to me. This began years ago, when I started following small promptings: to go to a conference I’d received an email piece for, to wrestle with Him over how prayer works (or not), to read through the book of Isaiah – over and over – nearly 12 times as I remember, and to do some foolish things I’d not tell anyone about because they seemed so silly and trivial. But I learned, much as a 2-year old does, by putting things in my mouth, by trying on clothes much too large for me, by picking up shiny pebbles I’d taken a liking to, I learned I was indeed much loved by a father, patient with my stumbling attempts at reaching out for him. Again, a 2 year old standing with arms upraised, wanting to be held, or carried.
I slowly learned to allow myself to say that God has indeed promised me specific things, and I have a notebook I continue to work on refining what I’ve heard, refining by walking out and trying small things on the way towards these promises. I’m honest with God about my fears and misgivings. He’s not particularly intimidated by my stumbling attempts at authenticity. He has been, and continues to be very patient, very kind in giving me feedback that “yes, I did mean it when I promised that you have my timing”. I get reminders in little ways, and increasingly large ways that indeed this or that promise still holds and is true. It has taken me all of my life to get this far. There are still “miles to go before I sleep, and God has promises to keep” and I look forward to moving on out through my current wilderness and into the next promises that remain incomplete.
promises
You have promised me so many things
You asked if I would be Your voice
and I said yes
and I say yes still, and again
teach me to walk in such speech
You called me as an intercessor
and now I see more of what that is
and say yes still to that call
give me the grace to walk it out
You called me a tall redwood
with places for many
in my branches
and yes, I’d like to do that
show me the way forward
give me the grace to follow you
into such a thing
You said Kings would seek out my wisdom
And this frightens me less than it did
I didn’t see it at all at first
I see glimpses now
but it’s a word from You, so
bring it to pass in its time
and give me the grace to be very present in it
and You promised more, some of which has occurred
or has at least begun
Thank you,
and draw it forward.
draw me forward into Your future
for me
clarksapoet@mac.com 9/18/05
